These are ‘hot’ topics of interest

When Kids Say, “I’m Better Off Dead.”

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A concerned parent came to us for testing because on more than one occasion her son said, “I shouldn’t be alive. I’m better off dead.” Before contacting us, this mom had already hid all the sharp knives in her home.  She was wise to seek professional support rather than dismissing or scolding her child for saying that since suicide in children is a real concern. According to the Center for Disease Control’s website and Youth Risk Survey Data, among adolescents aged 12-17, 18.8% had seriously considered attempting suicide, 15.7% made a suicide plan, and 8.9% attempted suicide. These percentages are higher for youth of color and those identifying as LGBTQ.

Our school neuropsychological testing revealed he had ADHD and learning disabilities which caused significant school problems. This boy was viewed as the class clown and became the one people pointed to and assumed was the disruptive cause when there was a problem. This contributed to him feeling rejected by most of his peers and teacher. Furthermore, his learning disabilities interfered with his reading, writing, and spelling so he was academically behind his peers. This caused embarrassment and he felt stupid.  His circumstances created the perfect storm for him to cry out to his parent that he was better off dead.  This boy had no suicidal plan but he did not have the appropriate words to express he wanted help and understanding.

This boy’s mom wanted to know how to help and our testing results report provided recommendations.  They obtained a public school plan called an Individualized Education Plan which provided specialized instruction. As a family they began working with a counselor to improve home communication and understanding.  Step by step they made changes to help their child’s mental health and learning.

If you or your child have suicidal thoughts or behaviors, call or text 988 for the suicide and crisis lifeline. You know your child best so if you are concerned about a potential learning disability, autism, or ADHD, call to discuss your child (561) 625 4125.

Stop Yelling at Your Child

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“Here we go again, mom’s rocket launcher went off and she’s yelling at me.” This statement captures how kids I work with often describe how their mom or dad deals with them when they are not acting right.  “Yelling is the only way I can get him to listen and behave,” is a common parent response.  All agree, yelling does not contribute to a peaceful home.

Yes, at times we parents must raise our voices and make it stern and serious. But yelling, shouting, screaming, and threatening is parenting by instilling fear into your child.  Unfortunately, fear and intimidation don’t produce lasting behavioral changes. Sure, your child might behave when you’re around but leave them with relatives or a sitter and prepare yourself for a bad report.  When you yell at your child to get him to do what you want, he is also learning that’s how he should treat his peers when he encounters someone who doesn’t do what he wants.  You are the example he looks to for learning how to interact with others.

Alternatives to Yelling

Do you yell at your child when he asks you to read an unknown word from his homework?  No, you teach him how to pronounce the word. Try to maintain this teaching mindset when it comes to his behavior.  Keep teach him over and over how to behave appropriately.  Perhaps you’ve thought, “Why does he act like that? Maybe there is something wrong with him. Is he autistic?”  Our testing process provides information to help answer your questions.

What?

Perhaps ask him questions instead of yelling commands. “Are you being helpful? Is this good for the family?  What will happen if you don’t stop?”  People tune out yelling but a question has an implied response requirement.  Being asked a question requires reflection and thought.  This helps your child’s mind to shift and transition. Parenting requires us to modify our behavior just like modifying our child’s behavior so keep learning and practicing.

Need Help?

Call to discuss your child as we test for autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, depression, learning disabilities, and anxiety.  Dial (561) 625 4125.

School Shouldn’t Be This Difficult

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“I hate school. School is like jail for kids.” Margaret’s son’s reaction captured how many boys perceive school. It can be a battle to get your child to school and a battle to get homework completed.  Many parents feel embattled by emails, texts, or phone calls about your child’s behavior or effort.  Learning is a slow process and your child’s behind.  Many parents come to us for school neuropsychological testing seeking answers because they realize school should not be this difficult.

It’s Not Laziness

Children struggle in school for various reasons and for adolescent boys I often hear, “He is just lazy and unmotivated.”  Many times our testing reveals a hidden learning disability and that your son is feeling inadequate.  When a boy does not feel good enough or that he can meet the academic requirement, he can’t work to his potential. Thus, he is not lazy but feeling inadequate and believes, “Why try?”  The good news is this can be changed with proper support at school and home.

15-20% of Children Struggle

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, 15-20% of public-school students in the United States receive special education services. In Florida, 15% of public school students have an Individual Education Program (IEP). Thirty-three percent of special education students have a specific learning disability. Your child needs tested to receive public school help.  Public schools offer this but with many hurdles and a lengthy wait time.  We offer a more thorough evaluation and give you written results in two weeks or less.

Seek Support

Trust your parental instinct and seek additional understanding. A wait and see approach often delays getting your child the proper help and support. Tutoring, counseling, an IEP, or 504 Plan is often needed to start closing gaps and increasing independence and confidence.  The state of Florida provides money to help you offset these expenses. To learn more search Family Empowerment Scholarship Unique Abilities.

Call to discuss your child as we test for autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, depression, learning disabilities, and anxiety (561) 625 4125.

Reading Time With Dad: The Father-Child Relationship

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James and the Giant Peach and Danny, Champion of the World were two of Ronald Dhal’s books my dad read with me when I was in elementary school. Some of my fondest childhood memories were reading these books with my dad. We did other things together like playing basketball, going fishing, and riding bikes but the relational connection of sitting next to my dad on the couch and feeling his presence and love was strong and evident. Dad gave me his precious gift of time.

The father-child relationship is powerful and creates a foundation for your child’s psyche to develop. Will your child feel loved and affirmed or rejected and ignored by dad? As a school psychologist and dad, I get it. Dads are busy. Dads might believe they don’t have the nurturing instinct that mom holds. They are busy providing for their family. Parenting expert, Meg Meeker, M.D., says, “After 30 years in my medical practice and extensive research, I see one common thread in children of all ages: the direct correlation between a father’s presence and a child’s well-being.”

If you are a dad reading this, it’s not meant to guilt you. Whether you’ve messed up or think it’s too late, your child of any age still needs you. They don’t need perfection; they need your presence and affirmation. Start small. Perhaps for you it’s asking them more thoughtful questions, taking a genuine interest in them telling you about a favorite video game, or watching a funny video together. For other dads it is telling your child what every child wants to hear: you love them and are proud of them.

Parenting is an on the job learning experience. Here are a few resources to help you along the way: Meg Meeker’s book Strong Father’s, Strong Daughters, Robert Lewis’ book Raising A Modern Day Knight or John C. Maxwell’s book Intentional Living, are thoughtful books to help dads along their parenting journey. Check out AllProDad.com or Christ in the Smokies. Dad, you got this.

Call or text to discuss your child as we test for autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. (561) 625 4125

Inflexible Children Struggle

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Inflexible children struggle. “We don’t spring any unexpected changes on him or he has a huge meltdown,” explained one mom.  Her eight-year-old son had daily tantrums when things did not go his way.  Mom was concerned he might have ADHD so we evaluated him to determine the root cause of his meltdowns. Our evaluation showed it was not ADHD but rather he had executive functioning difficulty with shifting attention and cognitive flexibility.

One Track Mind

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “That person has a one-track mind.” That saying captures what happens when inflexible people get something stuck in their minds and they can’t get it out.  They perseverate.  Their brain is like a train riding down a track and it can’t make a shift to a new track until it gets to a junction.  Unfortunately for some people, their brain goes on for ‘miles’ before it reaches a junction.  As a parent you might think, “Just get over it and move on” but it is not that easy for your child.

Transition Difficulty

Inflexible children often have difficulty making transitions at home and at school.  They often see things their way and have difficulty going with the flow.  This contributes to their melt downs and stubbornness. Inflexible children are not always pleasant to be around.  They can be bossy when playing and want to do things their way.  This inflexibility can create friendship issues with same age peers and inflexible children might prefer to play with younger children whom they can boss around.

Executive Functioning

The term executive functioning describes our brain’s management system.  Kids with executive functioning difficulty need to learn skills rather than take pills to help them.  Mom was happy medication was not the answer for her child. “My Day is Ruined!: A Story Teaching Flexible Thinking” by Bryan Smith is a book you can read with your child to teach skills.

 Call (561) 625 4125 to discuss your child as we test for executive functioning difficulty, autism, dyslexia, ADHD, and more.