Dr. Forgan’s advice on ADD/ ADHD

When Should You Stop ADHD Medication?

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Many parents grapple with the question, “Should I start my child on medication?”  but just as many parents also wonder when they should stop medication.  Some children will need to be on medication throughout their childhood and adolescent years. Other kids may be on medication throughout this time but, if their medication allows it, take holiday breaks such as weekends, summer, and extended breaks.  There may come a point where your child or teenager says, “I don’t want to take this medication anymore.”  Can you force him or her to take the medication?  This often becomes a battle that many parents face.

Ask yourself this question. Are my child’s grades satisfactory? If your child’s grades are satisfactory than he or she may not need the medication. Ask yourself this question. Is my child continually getting in trouble? If the answer is no, it may be time for a medication break.  Many parents are concerned that if their child stopped taking the medication their behavior will worsen for their grades will slip. Yet, at what point does the child need to start taking responsibility for their behavior and work? The pills don’t replace the skills that your child needs to be successful. If you stop the medication you may have to provide some tutoring or coaching to help your child learn the skills.

As parents we need to provide the support our children need. If they need the medication than continue it but if your child is asking for a break you believe he or she is ready for the responsibility that perhaps it’s time to stop the ADHD medication.

25 Ways to Help Your Teen with ADHD

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Some teens struggle socially and teens with ADHD must have good people skills in order to live life to the fullest.  After all, building relationships is one of our primary functions as a human being.  In order to help your teen I recommend using the book 25 Ways to Win With People, by Drs. John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott.  It’s packed with practical ways to build relationships.  The writing is readable and not at dense or technical. It includes many stories to illustrate the 25 key points.  And the book is small.  It won’t overwhelm teens that are immediately turned off by thick, textbook-style volumes.  I encourage parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and important adult friends to read the book ahead of time, or together with the teen. This allows for important common grounding. In other words, everyone has the same information. That opens the way for discussion and shared experiences or ideas. How might your family work this valuable book into your routine? There are two ways you might do so:

Save this book for summer reading, when the academic demands of school lessen.  Read the book in advance, and let your son know that over the summer he’ll be reading an excellent and potentially life-changing book called 25 Ways to Win With People. For the first 25 weekdays of summer, he’ll read a chapter a day. Reassure him/her – the chapters average less than seven pages. It will take five weeks to complete the book. Each day, you’ll ask him/her to write a short summary of the key point and discuss it with you.  Role-playing is another effective practice tool. You can practice these new skills within the supportive context of your home, where he/she shouldn’t be as self- conscious as he/she might in public. 

 Make learning and applying the 25 points a family project. Together, the family agrees to read one chapter per week. Some parents set aside part of the day on Saturday or Sunday to have a short talk about the key point. For the entire week each family member works on applying the step. Family members practice with each other as well as out in their school, work, or daily activities. If the family has dinner together, they should talk about their experiences.  

Even though a new point is introduced each week, it’s important to keep in mind that earlier points don’t get discarded. Apply them as much as possible, especially if there are one or two you have found highly useful. This is what I call the “rent to own” philosophy.  We are teaching our teenagers to try the point out (or rent it) for a week.  If he/she finds it useful, he continues to rent it and use it. At some point your teen may decide that this point is so helpful that they’ll decide to own it and apply it on their own, because he/she has recognized its value in his/her life. 

 Think about your family and decide which way would work best for you.  Your teen will soon have 25 ways to become more successful with people.

What’s Wrong With My Child?

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Have you ever asked yourself this question?  I have.  In my experience, children that struggle do so in cycles.  It’s like being on a rollercoaster.  Things can seem really bad for a while and then even out.  It is during the low points when parents think, “What is wrong with my child?” and “What else can I do to keep from losing my mind?”

I worked with a second grade boy because he was frequently in trouble at school.  He explained, “I’m in a bad habit right now.  I just can’t break the habit.”  This young man’s parents were wise enough to realize they could not stop his downward spin either and they contacted me.  Sometimes parents feel hopeless, like they have tried it all, and nothing works.  We worked together and developed a plan to break the negative cycle and turn things around.  It involved the child, parents, and teacher.

The parents were also considering retaining their son in second grade again.  My evaluation and insight helped them make the right decision for their family.  It was a decision based on data rather than their ever changing emotions.  Parents want what’s best for their children and consulting with a psychologist gives a holistic picture from a neutral expert.

There is always hope. There are good days ahead.  Raising a challenging child is not easy.  Be steadfast and consistent and you can turn from being discouraged to encouraged.  A listening ear and support are available.  I know because as a parent, I’ve been there!

The ADHD Strength Zone

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Teachers and parents often let kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) know their weaknesses.  They usually use words such as disorganized, lazy, unmotivated, forgetful, talkative, emotional, and the list goes on and on.  It has been documented that kids with ADD/ADHD hear five times as many negative as positive comments. 

What about the strengths of these kids?  Their strengths are usually described with words such as social, exciting, funny, loving, risk-taking, and energetic.  These positive qualities must not be overlooked and can become huge assets when they are adults.  Parents must find and build on the strengths of their child with ADD/ADHD.  I recently attended a seminar by Dr. John Maxwell who said something I found very interesting.  He advises parents not to focus so much on weaknesses but to find their child’s strengths and build and nurture them.  For example, buy books on the topics, talk with experts, attend seminars, take field trips, etc.  A child’s strengths will carry them through in life.  He gave the example that if your child is a C student in reading, perhaps you should be ok with it.  Instead of spending excessive time working with tutors to try and make him/her an A student, spend time building their strengths.  If you like this notion, read more in his book, Talent is Never Enough.

Dr. Forgan can help identify your child’s strengths.  He is a licensed school psychologist and certified dyslexia testing specialist who can evaluate your child for ADD/ADHD, giftedness, dyslexia, and other associated disorders.

Don’t Wait For Your Child To Fail

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As a parent, are you thinking, “I hope things go better for my child in school this year?”  Do you anticipate a negative daily call from the school about your child’s behavior or effort?  Your child’s issues from last year may not have surfaced yet but could be bubbling.  My advise to you is don’t take a wait and see approach.  Time is too valuable and the school year will be over before we know it.  Historically, school districts move slow when supporting kids that struggle. 

Be proactive.  If you know your child may have learning or behavioral issues at school, contact me.  The results of my evaluation will identify strengths and weaknesses.  It is accepted by all schools.  This documentation will speed up the help your child receives in school.  Without written documentation, your child’s school won’t make any accommodations.  These are things like not counting off for messy handwriting, a reduced list of spelling words, use of a word processor, copies of notes, not missing recess, and extra time on tests and assignments.  In order to receive extra time on the SAT or ACT, your child must currently have this accommodation in place at school. 

A proactive investment in your child’s future will save you from wasting your money on hit and miss search for answers.  Your child’s school will give extra help and support if you have the proper documentation.  Answers await you.  Don’t wait for your child to fail before getting help.  Your child will thank you.