These are ‘hot’ topics of interest

Three Ways to Help Kids With Anxiety

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Is your child a worrier?  Anxiety in kids is real. Excessive worrying in children might show up when he throws up every day before school, she has to know your whereabouts at all times, she can’t sleep in her own bed, he is afraid of a family member dying, and she worries so much about what peers think so it stifles decision making.

Stress is Real

These are real issues and the pandemic has elevated anxiety in children.  Causes of anxiety include genetics as anxiety often runs in the family tree, past experience such as being bullied, or temperament.  Summer is a great time to help your child and teach new coping skills.

First

One way to help your child is to teach him or her how to identify triggers. What precipitates the anxiety?  Your child might not want you to leave him and when you go to the store he worries you’ll get in a car accident.  Once you know the anxiety trigger, teach your child to decide if it is a rational or irrational fear. Thus, you leaving is the triggering event that leads to his irrational fear of an accident.  This takes lots of discussion as well as teaching him how to self-calm through breathing.

Second

Second, use books or a program. To help a younger child, you could read What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety with your child. For a teen you can read The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution by David Clark. Younger children often benefit from using the Coping Cat program with their parent. You can learn more at www.copingcatparents.com.

Third

Finally, if needed, seek a professional counselor.  There are many counselors that use a cognitive behavioral therapy approach to treatment. This type of counseling helps your child change negative thoughts into more positive thoughts.Counseling helps children cope with and manage anxiety symptoms while gradually exposing them to their fears to help them learn skills. PsychologyToday.com is one good source.

Call us if we can help you help manage anxiety in kids (561) 625 4125.

Building Strengths in Children

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Building strengths in children is a process. What does your child excel at?  As a child I grew up in the Evil Knievel era and I was the best kid in my Miami neighborhood at jumping a bicycle across two open ramps and I have scars to prove it.  Of course, my parents did not see this as my natural affinity and encouraged me to become a dentist.  I didn’t believe I was good at science and did not pursue this career but in hindsight, I could have become a dentist if they would have just kept encouraging me.

At ten years old I already believed I wasn’t good at math and science and this shaped my future career.  I tell you this because you know your child best and you might need to continue to nudge and believe for your child until he or she can believe on their own.  Our kids have free will to decide their career path but as parents we recognize their talents.

Be Intentional When Building Strengths

Building your child’s talents requires intentionality and not every interest develops to be your child’s chosen path.  When my child was a teen he wanted to be a YouTuber.  He was great at technology so I encouraged him to develop that interest but gave him opportunities for new experiences in areas I believed he might excel even more.

Three Ways for Building Strengths

Here are three ways to build your child’s strengths.  First, continue to encourage your child to try different activities including the ones that are out of their comfort zone.  Second, don’t give up on your child.  You might invest time and money into your child’s music or dance only to have her stop a short time later.  No worries as it’s an experience that helped shape her. What’s next? Finally, if needed, seek guidance.  Maybe your child is a happy wanderer with little focus or struggling with his or her identify.  There are counselors and career coaches that can assist.  You can find counselors at www.sfacc.net and a career coach at https://collegecareerconsulting.com.

Do you need help with your child? Call today (561) 625 4125.

Increase Memory in Children

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Memory is important for learning and a weak memory system hinders your child’s learning. Does your child’s memory seem inconsistent?  For example, some children learn math facts and forget them.  Do you tell your child a word on one line but he or she don’t recognize it a few lines later.  Still other children can remember movie lines or video game stats but can’t remember to turn in school assignments. If you increase memory capacity, you will improve your child’s learning.

Memory Systems

We have three main memory systems: short term, working, and long term memory.  Short term memory is holding information for a few seconds to minutes.  Working memory is the scratch pad of the brain and is our ability to hold information and change it such as doing mental math.  Long term memory is remembering information from days to years later. Identify which one is holding your child back and target intervention to increase your child’s capacity for learning.

Strategies to Increase Memory

Increase your child’s memory and consider these games and activities. First, have your child memorize how to spell his or her name backwards as this will exercise working memory.  If your child found that easy, try reciting the alphabet backwards.  Memorize Pi by learning one digit per day and see how many digits your child can remember.  If your child is younger, have him or her memorize your address and family members’ phone numbers.  Amazon has tons of memory games.  Cogmed is an intensive computer-based memory training program for kids and adults.

Mnemonic Memory Strategies

Most people can remember seven items plus or minus two.  Think about our phone numbers and social security numbers.  They fall within this range and numbers are chunked together a few at a time.  Chunking information helps us remember more material.  First letter mnemonic (pronounced new-monic) strategies also help us chunk information to remember.  One example is ROY-G-BIV to remember rainbow colors (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet).  Apply chunking or mnemonic strategies to help your child remember more.

We can help you understand and help your child.  Call us to discuss your needs.(561) 625 4125

Fathers Are Important

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Hey dad, got a minute?  You have a hard job: fatherhood.  It’s one of the most important jobs you’ll ever have and one that is much harder than expected.  The time you spend with your children will pay off immeasurable future dividends. I have children and I’ve loved being a dad since the day my first child was born.  I’ve done my best to be intentional in spending time with my children.   Regardless of where you are in your fatherhood journey, it’s not too late to start or even increase time spent with your child.

One way to spend time with your child is bike riding.  Unplug from technology and rent a bike at Riverbend Park and ride the trails.  Alternatively, the Palm Beach Bike Shop rents bikes to ride the Palm Beach trail.  Second, buy a tent and camp out at Johnathan Dickinson State Park. If you’re not into tent camping, head to the Okeechobee KOA and rent a camping cabin.  Third, consider a father-son or father-daughter weekend experience.  I did this through Christ in the Rockies and it was the best thing I did to galvanize my relationship with my son.

Moms usually bring their child to work with me so I don’t get to meet dads until we do a review meeting. When I work with kids I say, I didn’t meet your dad so tell me about him.”  The child’s response tells me how involved a dad is. Some kids discuss the activities they do together whereas other kids say, “He works a lot.”  I follow up and ask, “What do you and your dad do together?”  It’s unfortunate but some kids, who live in the same house with their dad, come up empty.

I encourage you to fill up your child with experiences and emotional encouragement.  Fatherhood is tough and it’s hard to go alone.   A great resource is Tony Dungy’s website: AllProDad.com.

How To Motivate Unmotivated Kids

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How To Motivate Unmotivated Kids

“Just do it,” as Nike says is catchy but most people don’t become highly motivated by a picture and an inspirational saying. If that worked, I would not hear from parents, “My child is unmotivated and lazy.”  Why are some kids so difficult to motivate? Does your child get too much screen time or is it the absence of recreational programs due to COVID?  Does your child have a developmental problem?  Maybe it’s just that many kids in our area live in the land of entitlement.

Start at Home

Start at home if you want your child to be a motivated self-starter. Give your child age appropriate responsibilities rather than doing tasks yourself just because it’s easier as compared to nagging your child. Kids feel better about themselves when they feel like they are contributing to the family. Regardless of your child’s age, start now. Ask yourself, “What am I doing for my child that he or she needs to do for him or herself?”  Make a short list and then have a sit down to discuss your child’s new responsibilities.

Motivate with Prestige, Power, Praise

Most parents try to motivate their child using incentives including toys, screen time, or events such as a play date.  While that works for some children, other kids are motivated by either prestige, power, or praise.

If your child is motivated by prestige, then reward him for a job well done with a best kid award to put on the refrigerator, a public compliment in front of friends, or something that makes him feel prestigious.  If she is motivated by power, give her choices.  “When your work is done, you can do this or this. Which one do you prefer?”  Or say, “When the work is done, you get to pick the restaurant for dinner.”  If praise motivates your child, lavish authentic verbal praise upon him.  If he had great behavior at school, verbally praise him and then place a praise note in his lunchbox so the praise encourages another great day.  Motivating kids occurs in small steps and motivators change with time.  Check out Rick Lavoie’s book, “The Motivation Breakthrough.”