These are ‘hot’ topics of interest

A Father’s Affirmation

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Father’s day was this month and I am blessed to have had a father that took an interest in my life and was a role model for my parenting as a father. Many dads’ didn’t have a good dad for a role model so they are unclear of their role and take it too superficially. Even though I had a great dad I am constantly reminding myself to affirm and complement my children. Children need their father’s encouragement and positive reinforcement. It does not matter what age your child is, he or she needs to hear dad say statements like, “I’m proud of you. You are such a good person. I love you.” If dads don’t affirm their child then child will find other way to get that affirmation. Is that want you want your child to do? If you are a dad, consider reading one of these two books.

One of my favorite books for dads is called “The Difference A Father Makes” by Ed McGlasson. His small book is a quick, but meaningful, read to help fathers understand the importance of their power in preparing a children for life. He shares personal examples of how he influenced his sons and daughters to become leaders in life. This includes an awesome chapter called Rites of Passage that has information to give fathers the power to change his relationship with his son or daughter forever.

The second book is “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know” by Meg Meeker. This book contains ideas that can dramatically improve a father’s relationship with his daughter. I believe books can be valuable tools in helping parents build stronger relationships with their children. These two books are a great starting point for any dad who wants to connect with his kids.

Help Learning to Read

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Learning to read is a very complex process for about 20% of all children.  Some children have a hard time unlocking the reading ‘code’ because they need multisensory reading instruction.  This means that all senses are activated and the instruction is direct, systematic, and taught from most common to least common.  Surprisingly, that is not the way reading is traditionally taught in most elementary classrooms.

If your son or daughter struggles to learn to read, the one thing to know is don’t wait to get help.  The investment you make by starting testing and/or tutoring will give a life time of dividend returns.  Study after study shows that early intervention is better than waiting to see if it is just a developmental issue.  With the high stakes testing in our public schools, waiting can mean your child being retained.  A year of specialized tutoring can make a world of difference.

Once your child becomes a good reader, I like Dr. John C. Maxwell’s philosophy of paying your child to read a book.  He is an internationally known author who explained that rather than getting allowance to do childhood chores, his parents paid him to read a book and write a one page summary.  The idea of this is that parents need to invest in nurturing what is important.  If reading print is too hard for your teen then have her listen to an audio book and then write up the report. 

The take away message is that if your intuition has you worried about your child’s reading skills, get them checked out.  I recommend that for tutoring you don’t just use any teacher but that you use a tutor who follows a specialized curriculum.  I know dyslexia tutors in our area (Jupiter Florida, Palm Beach Gardens, West Palm Beach, Palm Beach, Wellington, Stuart, Port St. Lucie, Vero Beach) that can help you.

IEP or 504 Plan

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If your child receives special education services then they have an IEP. While the federal legislation called Individuals with Disabilities Education Improvement Act (IDEIA or IDEA, 2004) spells out the rules and regulations for students who are placed in special education settings, and have an IEP; the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, specifically Section 504, describes rules to protect students from discrimination because of their differences. When a student gets to college, it is Section 504 that ensures that they won’t be excluded from college because they cannot meet the SAT requirement because of their learning disability. It also ensures that an individual will not be discriminated because of chronic illness when they apply for a job. However, Section 504 also has an impact on education in grades k-12 too.

A 504 plan is a legal document that describes an instructional plan for children with disabilities when they are in the general classroom. The 504 plan focuses on the “reasonable” accommodations and modifications that will support the child’s learning. In practice, students with IEPS (like SLD or ASD) also need accommodations and modifications. However they do not also have 504 plans, as their IEPS contain the accommodations and modifications that are needed. IDEA requires specific criteria for each disability, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act doe s not. Therefore, the Rehab Act is more global, indicating only that the child/adult has to have an impairment of one of the systems of the body (skeleton, neurological, sensory, respiratory, etc). So a 504 plan may be developed for a student identified with AD/HD, ADD, Asthma, Diabetes, Cystic Fibrosis, Bipolar Disorder, or many other chronic illnesses. The 504 plan provides strategies and direction for the general classroom teacher. The strategies are not very different from those used in IEPS, it is just that they are provided in the general class environment.

Prepare for Your IEP Meeting or Else!

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Preparation is the key to success no matter what professional field, sport, or activity you engage in. The same holds true for IEP meetings. If you want to have a great IEP meeting then you must prepare ahead of time or else let the school tell you what is best for your child.  When I accompany parents to IEP meetings as a professional advocate I prepare ahead of time and don’t just show up to the meeting and try to wing it.  I learn about the child by talking to the parents, relatives, teachers, and reviewing pertinent records. I have to have a clear purpose for the meeting so that we can focus our efforts on getting a great IEP. 

You have to be prepared in advance since IEP meetings typically last between one and three hours. There is so much conversation and dialogue during these IEP meetings that it’s easy to lose focus of the purpose and your goal. I suggest you plan ahead so pull out a piece of paper and at the top of it write this statement down.  I believe the purpose or goal for this IEP meeting should be:___________________________.

 This clearly defined purpose will help you keep on track and ensure that the IEP members stay on task. These are common questions that you will be asked about your child during the IEP meeting. Consider these in advance so you are prepared.

What are your child’s strengths?

What motivates your child to learn?

What are your child’s areas of weakness? 

Have you found any techniques or strategies helpful in addressing your child’s weaker areas?

Do you have a goal or anything in particular that you would like your child to learn this year?

By taking the time to prepare for the IEP meeting now you are making an important stride in helping your child gets a great IEP.  At www.SeeMyIEP.com they offer parents expert IEP advice and a library of real IEP goals and IEP objectives that you can search to help you prepare for IEP meetings and get a strong IEP for your child.

25 Ways to Help Your Teen with ADHD

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Some teens struggle socially and teens with ADHD must have good people skills in order to live life to the fullest.  After all, building relationships is one of our primary functions as a human being.  In order to help your teen I recommend using the book 25 Ways to Win With People, by Drs. John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott.  It’s packed with practical ways to build relationships.  The writing is readable and not at dense or technical. It includes many stories to illustrate the 25 key points.  And the book is small.  It won’t overwhelm teens that are immediately turned off by thick, textbook-style volumes.  I encourage parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and important adult friends to read the book ahead of time, or together with the teen. This allows for important common grounding. In other words, everyone has the same information. That opens the way for discussion and shared experiences or ideas. How might your family work this valuable book into your routine? There are two ways you might do so:

Save this book for summer reading, when the academic demands of school lessen.  Read the book in advance, and let your son know that over the summer he’ll be reading an excellent and potentially life-changing book called 25 Ways to Win With People. For the first 25 weekdays of summer, he’ll read a chapter a day. Reassure him/her – the chapters average less than seven pages. It will take five weeks to complete the book. Each day, you’ll ask him/her to write a short summary of the key point and discuss it with you.  Role-playing is another effective practice tool. You can practice these new skills within the supportive context of your home, where he/she shouldn’t be as self- conscious as he/she might in public. 

 Make learning and applying the 25 points a family project. Together, the family agrees to read one chapter per week. Some parents set aside part of the day on Saturday or Sunday to have a short talk about the key point. For the entire week each family member works on applying the step. Family members practice with each other as well as out in their school, work, or daily activities. If the family has dinner together, they should talk about their experiences.  

Even though a new point is introduced each week, it’s important to keep in mind that earlier points don’t get discarded. Apply them as much as possible, especially if there are one or two you have found highly useful. This is what I call the “rent to own” philosophy.  We are teaching our teenagers to try the point out (or rent it) for a week.  If he/she finds it useful, he continues to rent it and use it. At some point your teen may decide that this point is so helpful that they’ll decide to own it and apply it on their own, because he/she has recognized its value in his/her life. 

 Think about your family and decide which way would work best for you.  Your teen will soon have 25 ways to become more successful with people.