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A Father’s Affirmation

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Father’s day was this month and I am blessed to have had a father that took an interest in my life and was a role model for my parenting as a father. Many dads’ didn’t have a good dad for a role model so they are unclear of their role and take it too superficially. Even though I had a great dad I am constantly reminding myself to affirm and complement my children. Children need their father’s encouragement and positive reinforcement. It does not matter what age your child is, he or she needs to hear dad say statements like, “I’m proud of you. You are such a good person. I love you.” If dads don’t affirm their child then child will find other way to get that affirmation. Is that want you want your child to do? If you are a dad, consider reading one of these two books.

One of my favorite books for dads is called “The Difference A Father Makes” by Ed McGlasson. His small book is a quick, but meaningful, read to help fathers understand the importance of their power in preparing a children for life. He shares personal examples of how he influenced his sons and daughters to become leaders in life. This includes an awesome chapter called Rites of Passage that has information to give fathers the power to change his relationship with his son or daughter forever.

The second book is “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know” by Meg Meeker. This book contains ideas that can dramatically improve a father’s relationship with his daughter. I believe books can be valuable tools in helping parents build stronger relationships with their children. These two books are a great starting point for any dad who wants to connect with his kids.

Help Learning to Read

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Learning to read is a very complex process for about 20% of all children.  Some children have a hard time unlocking the reading ‘code’ because they need multisensory reading instruction.  This means that all senses are activated and the instruction is direct, systematic, and taught from most common to least common.  Surprisingly, that is not the way reading is traditionally taught in most elementary classrooms.

If your son or daughter struggles to learn to read, the one thing to know is don’t wait to get help.  The investment you make by starting testing and/or tutoring will give a life time of dividend returns.  Study after study shows that early intervention is better than waiting to see if it is just a developmental issue.  With the high stakes testing in our public schools, waiting can mean your child being retained.  A year of specialized tutoring can make a world of difference.

Once your child becomes a good reader, I like Dr. John C. Maxwell’s philosophy of paying your child to read a book.  He is an internationally known author who explained that rather than getting allowance to do childhood chores, his parents paid him to read a book and write a one page summary.  The idea of this is that parents need to invest in nurturing what is important.  If reading print is too hard for your teen then have her listen to an audio book and then write up the report. 

The take away message is that if your intuition has you worried about your child’s reading skills, get them checked out.  I recommend that for tutoring you don’t just use any teacher but that you use a tutor who follows a specialized curriculum.  I know dyslexia tutors in our area (Jupiter Florida, Palm Beach Gardens, West Palm Beach, Palm Beach, Wellington, Stuart, Port St. Lucie, Vero Beach) that can help you.

Warning Signs of Dyslexia and Reading Problems

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If you are concerned that your child’s reading is not developing appropriately, see if they have any of these warning signs of a learning disability like dyslexia.  This is important because children as young as age 5 can be identified as either at risk for, or having, a reading disability.  If your child has three or more of these warning signs, learn more about identifying and overcoming reading problems.

These are some of the preschool age warning signs of possible reading problems: delayed speech, mixing up the sounds and syllables in long words (psgetti, aminal), numerous ear infections, trouble memorizing letters or the alphabet, and can’t create words that rhyme.  Many preschoolers with speech problems also have reading difficulty.

Elementary age warning signs of reading problems include: letter reversals, slow choppy reading, guesses based on shape, ignores suffixes, skips or misreads prepositions (at, to, of), or difficulty sounding out unknown words. Other warning signs include difficulty telling time with a clock with hands as well as trouble memorizing math facts or a sequence of steps. 

Middle and high school warning signs can include the above plus a limited vocabulary, poor written expression compared to speaking skills, difficulty learning a foreign language, and poor grades.

Depending on your child’s age there are many effective reading programs.  Having your child evaluated can help determine the most effective program.  This way you don’t spend your valuable time and money on a hit and miss approach of things that don’t work well.  With a proper evaluation there are many school supports available.  The important point is not to let things drag on hoping they will improve.   Check it out so you can have a focused plan and don’t waste time doing a hit and miss approach.

Can Books Help Children?

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The motto of my practice is “Helping Parents Help Children.”  One way I believe parents can help their children is to increase our own knowledge about how kids think, feel, and act.  I want to share two books that my wife and I have found helpful in raising our son and daughter.  I think they can help you too.  One book is for fathers and the other is for moms.  Both are easily available online or in most bookstores because books help children.

One of my favorite books for dads is called “The Difference A Father Makes” by Ed McGlasson.  Ed is a former NFL star and played football for the Raiders.  His small book is a quick, but meaningful, read that helps fathers understand the importance of their power in preparing our children for life.  He shares personal examples of how he influenced his sons and daughters to become leaders in life.  This includes an awesome chapter called Rites of Passage that has information to give fathers the power to change his relationship with his son or daughter forever.

The book I recommend for moms is called “That’s My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character” by Rick Johnson.  My wife found this book helpful because she grew up with two sisters and no brothers.  She did not have family experiences as a child learning what makes boys tick.  By reading Rick’s book she found a new understanding about our son.  The book is appropriate for single moms as well as married moms.  There are some interesting secrets in this book that Rick tells about the inner workings of boys.  He gives moms straightforward honest advice to help moms discuss communication, respect, and learning self discipline.

I believe books can be valuable tools in helping parents build stronger relationships with their children and these two books are a great starting point.  If your child struggles in school, dislikes school, is easily frustrated with homework, or has other school issues, consider getting him or her evaluated.  My evaluation process can help reveal the true issue so that you can begin the appropriate intervention instead of trying a hit and miss approach.  It’s an investment that can get your child on the right track.

Dr. Forgan is a Diplomate of the American Board of School Neuropsychology and certified dyslexia testing specialist who can evaluate your child for ADD/ADHD, giftedness, dyslexia, and other associated disorders.  Call 625-4125 to discuss your child.

What’s Wrong With My Child?

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Have you ever asked yourself this question?  I have.  In my experience, children that struggle do so in cycles.  It’s like being on a rollercoaster.  Things can seem really bad for a while and then even out.  It is during the low points when parents think, “What is wrong with my child?” and “What else can I do to keep from losing my mind?”

I worked with a second grade boy because he was frequently in trouble at school.  He explained, “I’m in a bad habit right now.  I just can’t break the habit.”  This young man’s parents were wise enough to realize they could not stop his downward spin either and they contacted me.  Sometimes parents feel hopeless, like they have tried it all, and nothing works.  We worked together and developed a plan to break the negative cycle and turn things around.  It involved the child, parents, and teacher.

The parents were also considering retaining their son in second grade again.  My evaluation and insight helped them make the right decision for their family.  It was a decision based on data rather than their ever changing emotions.  Parents want what’s best for their children and consulting with a psychologist gives a holistic picture from a neutral expert.

There is always hope. There are good days ahead.  Raising a challenging child is not easy.  Be steadfast and consistent and you can turn from being discouraged to encouraged.  A listening ear and support are available.  I know because as a parent, I’ve been there!