Posts

When Kids Say, “I’m Better Off Dead.”

/in /by

A concerned parent came to us for testing because on more than one occasion her son said, “I shouldn’t be alive. I’m better off dead.” Before contacting us, this mom had already hid all the sharp knives in her home.  She was wise to seek professional support rather than dismissing or scolding her child for saying that since suicide in children is a real concern. According to the Center for Disease Control’s website and Youth Risk Survey Data, among adolescents aged 12-17, 18.8% had seriously considered attempting suicide, 15.7% made a suicide plan, and 8.9% attempted suicide. These percentages are higher for youth of color and those identifying as LGBTQ.

Our school neuropsychological testing revealed he had ADHD and learning disabilities which caused significant school problems. This boy was viewed as the class clown and became the one people pointed to and assumed was the disruptive cause when there was a problem. This contributed to him feeling rejected by most of his peers and teacher. Furthermore, his learning disabilities interfered with his reading, writing, and spelling so he was academically behind his peers. This caused embarrassment and he felt stupid.  His circumstances created the perfect storm for him to cry out to his parent that he was better off dead.  This boy had no suicidal plan but he did not have the appropriate words to express he wanted help and understanding.

This boy’s mom wanted to know how to help and our testing results report provided recommendations.  They obtained a public school plan called an Individualized Education Plan which provided specialized instruction. As a family they began working with a counselor to improve home communication and understanding.  Step by step they made changes to help their child’s mental health and learning.

If you or your child have suicidal thoughts or behaviors, call or text 988 for the suicide and crisis lifeline. You know your child best so if you are concerned about a potential learning disability, autism, or ADHD, call to discuss your child (561) 625 4125.

What Makes Kids Anxious?

/in /by

Jenny was an anxious adolescent who was an outside the box type of teen girl with uniqueness’s that elementary bullies targeted. This caused her anxiety. When the Corona Virus caused school shutdowns, she enjoyed only online friendships with others having her same interests.  This reduced her anxiety but caused social isolation.  When in person school resumed she experienced extreme social anxiety and school phobia so her mom allowed her to return to online only school.  They came to us for help.

What Makes Kids Anxious?

Jenny was like many children who struggle with anxiety from bullying and other reasons.  Genetics is one reason kids may experience anxiety as anxiety occurs within the family tree.  If a family member has anxiety, your child is at high risk for developing anxiety.

Anxiety from Current Events

Another reason for a child’s anxiety is exposure to world events.  Children who have a predisposition for anxiety worry when the family leaves the television news on all the time.  Despite what some parents think, children listen, watch, and understand more than some adults acknowledge.  Hearing about college murders, war, and violence can create inner angst that manifests as kids not wanting to sleep alone or a general worry that something bad will happen to them or their parent when they leave the home.

Peer Influences

Peer influences also create anxiety.  When you were a child there was not so much technology access but now young kids are exposed to some scary games like Five Nights at Freddy’s, Slender Man or Amnesia.  Kids playing these games often develop fears that events in the games might happen in real life.

How to Help Anxious Children

What can you do to help your child?  First, limit access and prevent your young child from playing scary games. Second, only watch the news in a room where your child does not enter such as the bedroom. Third, if you recognize your child has anxiety read the book “What to Do You’re your Child Worries Too Much” to your child or buy your teen the book, “My Anxious Mind.”  If you want to learn more, read my book for parents Stressed Out! Solutions to Help Your Child Manage and Overcome Stress. Finally, seek professional help if your child’s anxiety starts to interfere with school or life at home.

Call to discuss your child as we test children ages 5.5 through college for dyslexia, learning disabilities, ADHD, depression, anxiety, and other processing disorders.  Call (561) 625 4125.

Depression or Unmotivated Teen?

/in /by

Are you concerned about depression in your teen? Unmotivated, lazy, not applying himself, and not working to his potential were words a mom used to describe her 16-year-old son as we discussed her concerns. This 11th grade adolescent seemed to be a lost soul since he did not care about school grades, was defiant at home, and was pushing others away.  Mom was concerned about him and as she put it, “He doesn’t even realize how much he’s messing up now and how much it will come back to haunt him later.”  We decide to test him to help give her direction and determine if his struggles were due to an underlying disorder or something else.  Testing revealed no learning disabilities but the teen was depressed which was causing him not to care about now or later.  Based on this information, mom obtained the right help for her son.

Depression in Teens is Real

Depression in teens is real and anxiety and depression often co-occur.  These are mental health issues that do not go away on their own and can appear as your teen being agitated, unmotivated, disinterested, flippant, argumentative, withdrawn, and experimenting to fill an unmet void.  If you suspect your teen has depression or anxiety, seek treatment.  We offer testing to rule out other problems and determine the true issue.  Alternatively, you can talk to your medical provider.

Support for Depressed Teens

Counselors offer support to teens willing to participate in the process.  A type of effective counseling is cognitive behavioral therapy.  This goal oriented counseling helps your teen reframe negative thinking and change thought processes which, in turn, change behavior.  Counselors are available at psychologytoday.com or sfacc.net.  If your teen is open to reading a self-help type of book check out the book, Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life… And Maybe The World or Anxiety Relief for Teens by Regine Galanti.

If you have an unmotivated teen, call our office as we test children ages 5.5 through college for dyslexia, ADHD/ADD, depression, anxiety, and other processing disorders.  Call (561) 625 4125.

Teaching Problem Solving Using Books

/in /by

bibliiotherapy.article.intervention

I love learning and believe we can learn a lot by reading and educating ourselves.  Sure, degrees are nice but real learning often takes place outside the classroom.  Think about a time you had a problem.  How did you solve it?  Perhaps you turned to a book or internet site. 

My brother in law  used a book to help him learn how to change his leaky sink faucet.  I used a book to help me learn how to become a better parent.  Some of my favorite self-help books are written by Dr. John C. Maxwell www.johnmaxwell.com.  He  great books such as Developing a Winning Attitude, Talent is Never Enough, and Failing Forward. 

Books can help kids too.  There are many books that teach problem solving skills.  I enjoy many of Bill Cosby’s books about Little Bill.  When my son was 4 and 5 we read most of them.  My favorite one was The Meanest Thing to Say because it taught a problem solving strategy called “So.”  He learned to use it if other kids said mean things to him. 

I attached an article that I wrote and that was published in a popular teacher journal.  Parents can find it useful too and it lists many kids books to read with your child.  Help your child identify with the book’s character and then learn the problem solving strategy.  It works!