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Reading Time With Dad: The Father-Child Relationship

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James and the Giant Peach and Danny, Champion of the World were two of Ronald Dhal’s books my dad read with me when I was in elementary school. Some of my fondest childhood memories were reading these books with my dad. We did other things together like playing basketball, going fishing, and riding bikes but the relational connection of sitting next to my dad on the couch and feeling his presence and love was strong and evident. Dad gave me his precious gift of time.

The father-child relationship is powerful and creates a foundation for your child’s psyche to develop. Will your child feel loved and affirmed or rejected and ignored by dad? As a school psychologist and dad, I get it. Dads are busy. Dads might believe they don’t have the nurturing instinct that mom holds. They are busy providing for their family. Parenting expert, Meg Meeker, M.D., says, “After 30 years in my medical practice and extensive research, I see one common thread in children of all ages: the direct correlation between a father’s presence and a child’s well-being.”

If you are a dad reading this, it’s not meant to guilt you. Whether you’ve messed up or think it’s too late, your child of any age still needs you. They don’t need perfection; they need your presence and affirmation. Start small. Perhaps for you it’s asking them more thoughtful questions, taking a genuine interest in them telling you about a favorite video game, or watching a funny video together. For other dads it is telling your child what every child wants to hear: you love them and are proud of them.

Parenting is an on the job learning experience. Here are a few resources to help you along the way: Meg Meeker’s book Strong Father’s, Strong Daughters, Robert Lewis’ book Raising A Modern Day Knight or John C. Maxwell’s book Intentional Living, are thoughtful books to help dads along their parenting journey. Check out AllProDad.com or Christ in the Smokies. Dad, you got this.

Call or text to discuss your child as we test for autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. (561) 625 4125

Fathers Are Important

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Hey dad, got a minute?  You have a hard job: fatherhood.  It’s one of the most important jobs you’ll ever have and one that is much harder than expected.  The time you spend with your children will pay off immeasurable future dividends. I have children and I’ve loved being a dad since the day my first child was born.  I’ve done my best to be intentional in spending time with my children.   Regardless of where you are in your fatherhood journey, it’s not too late to start or even increase time spent with your child.

One way to spend time with your child is bike riding.  Unplug from technology and rent a bike at Riverbend Park and ride the trails.  Alternatively, the Palm Beach Bike Shop rents bikes to ride the Palm Beach trail.  Second, buy a tent and camp out at Johnathan Dickinson State Park. If you’re not into tent camping, head to the Okeechobee KOA and rent a camping cabin.  Third, consider a father-son or father-daughter weekend experience.  I did this through Christ in the Rockies and it was the best thing I did to galvanize my relationship with my son.

Moms usually bring their child to work with me so I don’t get to meet dads until we do a review meeting. When I work with kids I say, I didn’t meet your dad so tell me about him.”  The child’s response tells me how involved a dad is. Some kids discuss the activities they do together whereas other kids say, “He works a lot.”  I follow up and ask, “What do you and your dad do together?”  It’s unfortunate but some kids, who live in the same house with their dad, come up empty.

I encourage you to fill up your child with experiences and emotional encouragement.  Fatherhood is tough and it’s hard to go alone.   A great resource is Tony Dungy’s website: AllProDad.com.

A Father’s Affirmation

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Father’s day was this month and I am blessed to have had a father that took an interest in my life and was a role model for my parenting as a father. Many dads’ didn’t have a good dad for a role model so they are unclear of their role and take it too superficially. Even though I had a great dad I am constantly reminding myself to affirm and complement my children. Children need their father’s encouragement and positive reinforcement. It does not matter what age your child is, he or she needs to hear dad say statements like, “I’m proud of you. You are such a good person. I love you.” If dads don’t affirm their child then child will find other way to get that affirmation. Is that want you want your child to do? If you are a dad, consider reading one of these two books.

One of my favorite books for dads is called “The Difference A Father Makes” by Ed McGlasson. His small book is a quick, but meaningful, read to help fathers understand the importance of their power in preparing a children for life. He shares personal examples of how he influenced his sons and daughters to become leaders in life. This includes an awesome chapter called Rites of Passage that has information to give fathers the power to change his relationship with his son or daughter forever.

The second book is “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know” by Meg Meeker. This book contains ideas that can dramatically improve a father’s relationship with his daughter. I believe books can be valuable tools in helping parents build stronger relationships with their children. These two books are a great starting point for any dad who wants to connect with his kids.