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why does my child constantly misbehave in school

Help Me! My 11-Year-Old Continually Has Behavior Problems at School

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This parent’s cry for help is often what brings families to us for school neuropsychological testing.  It’s very uncommon for an 11-year-old to continually have behavior problems at school.

The parents told me, “My 11-year-old son is impulsive, disruptive, and frequently off task at school. He struggles to make friends and does not seem to read the room. He sometimes denies things that happened and repeatedly engages in the same behaviors, even after consequences. What could be wrong with him?”

When a child repeatedly experiences behavioral and social problems, you naturally want an explanation. You may wonder whether your child is being defiant, dishonest, immature, or simply making poor choices. However, behavior is often a form of communication. Instead of asking only, “How do we stop this behavior?” it can be more helpful to ask, “What skill is he missing, and what is making this situation difficult for him?”

These parents had already been to see their pediatrician who told them this was complicated and recommended us for a school neuropsychological evaluation.  When the parent came to us, we discussed that several possibilities need to be explored.

ADHD and Executive Functioning Weaknesses

Impulsivity, difficulty staying on task, excessive talking, interrupting, and repeating behaviors despite consequences can be associated with ADHD.  Children with ADHD may understand a rule when it is explained but have difficulty applying it in the moment. Weaknesses in executive functioning can affect your child’s ability to pause, consider the consequences, regulate emotions, remember expectations, and change course after receiving feedback.

This can be confusing because your child may seem capable of better behavior at certain times. However, ADHD is often characterized by inconsistent performance. Your child may know what to do but struggle to do it consistently, especially in distracting, unstructured, frustrating, or socially demanding situations.

Social-Communication Differences

Difficulty making friends or “reading the room” may indicate weaknesses in social communication. A child might misinterpret facial expressions, fail to recognize that others are becoming annoyed, talk excessively about preferred subjects, invade personal space, or use humor at inappropriate times.

These difficulties can occur in children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety, language weaknesses, or other developmental differences. Autism is only one possibility, and a child should not be diagnosed based on a few behaviors. Some children desperately want friends but lack the skills needed to enter a conversation, handle disagreement, recognize another person’s perspective, or repair a social mistake. Continued rejection can then lead to frustration, attention-seeking, or disruptive behavior.

Not Telling the Truth

When children deny their actions or give an inaccurate account of an event, adults may assume they are deliberately lying. Sometimes that is the case, but there may be other explanations.

An impulsive child may respond before thinking. A child who expects punishment may immediately deny responsibility to protect himself. He might also remember an emotionally charged event differently, misunderstand another person’s intentions, or describe what he wished had happened rather than what occurred.

Some children feel so ashamed about making another mistake that admitting it seems overwhelming. This does not mean dishonesty should be ignored. It means adults should respond with curiosity, teach accountability, and avoid defining the child as a “liar.”

A helpful response might be: “I want to understand what happened. You are not in trouble for telling me the truth. Let’s slow down and walk through it from the beginning.” 

Other Factors to Consider

Behavioral changes can also be influenced by anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, bullying, sleep problems, language-processing difficulties, trauma, sensory overload, or academic work that feels too difficult. An 11-year-old who cannot keep up with reading, writing, or classroom demands may use avoidance, humor, arguing, or disruption to escape embarrassment.

It is also important to consider when and where the behavior occurs. Does it happen across settings or primarily in one classroom? Is it worse during independent work, transitions, lunch, or less-structured activities? Does s/he behave differently with particular teachers or peers? Patterns often provide important clues. 

What Can You Do?

if your child continually has behavior problems, begin by requesting a meeting with the teacher, school counselor, or other relevant school personnel. Ask for specific examples rather than general descriptions such as “He is disruptive.” What happens immediately before the behavior? What exactly does he do? How do adults and peers respond? What helps him recover?

You can also request that the school collect behavioral data with the purpose to understand what the behavior accomplishes for your child. Are they gaining attention, escaping difficult work, seeking stimulation, or avoiding an uncomfortable social situation?

Our comprehensive school neuropsychological evaluation may also be beneficial. Our evaluation will examine attention, executive functioning, learning, language, emotional functioning, academics, and social understanding. We will obtain information from you, teachers, direct observation, testing, and the child him or herself.

The goal is not simply to find a label. It is to identify the reasons behind the behavior and develop supports that match your child’s needs. These might include explicit social coaching, classroom accommodations, executive-functioning instruction, counseling, academic intervention, or medical consultation.

Most importantly, we want to separate your child from his behavior. He is not a “bad kid.” He may be a child whose current skills are not yet strong enough to meet the demands placed upon him. With a thoughtful evaluation, consistent support, and adults who remain curious rather than judgmental, he can learn healthier ways to manage himself, connect with others, and experience success.

Strategies You Can Use at Home

While an evaluation may help identify the reasons behind why your child continually has behavior problems, you can begin building needed skills at home. The goal is not to punish every mistake. It is to provide clear expectations, consistent accountability, and repeated opportunities to practice better responses.

  1. Focus on One or Two Behaviors at a Time

You’ve heard the answer to, “How do you eat an elephant? One small bite at a time.” Thus, avoid trying to correct impulsivity, dishonesty, organization, friendships, and disrespect all at once. Choose one specific behaviors, such as:

  • Starting homework within five minutes of being asked
  • Responding without arguing
  • Keeping hands and hurtful comments to himself
  • Telling the truth when discussing a problem

Define the expected behavior clearly so your child knows what success looks like.

  1. Use Brief, One-Step Specific Directions

Children with attention and executive-functioning weaknesses may lose track of lengthy explanations. Gain your child’s attention, give one direction, and ask him to repeat it back.

Instead of saying, “You never listen. Go upstairs, clean everything, get ready for tomorrow, and stop wasting time,” try: “Please put your school materials in your backpack. Tell me when that is finished.”

  1. Create and Use Predictable Routines

Establish consistent routines for mornings, homework, chores, screen time, and bedtime. Use a short written checklist rather than repeatedly reminding or lecturing him. Predictability reduces conflict and helps externalize the organization skills he may not yet manage independently.

  1. Reinforce the Behavior You Want to See

Children who struggle behaviorally often receive attention mainly when something goes wrong. It can be challenging but try to notice and describe small examples of success:

“You stopped and thought before answering.”

“You were frustrated, but you kept your voice calm.”

“You told me what really happened even though it was difficult.”

Specific praise helps your child recognize which behaviors they should repeat.

  1. Use Immediate, Reasonable Consequences

Consequences work best when they are calm, predictable, and connected to the behavior. If your child misuses a privilege, temporarily limit that privilege. If he makes a mess or damages something, have him help repair it. If he hurts someone, require an appropriate act of repair after he has calmed down.

Avoid very large or delayed punishments. Losing electronics for a month is unlikely to teach the skill he needed in the original situation. Make the consequence hours or days.  Allow for the opportunity for your child to make-up and earn the privilege back sooner.

  1. Teach and Practice the “Pause Plan”

Adults and children benefit from the pause plan.  Teach a brief routine your child can use before acting:

  1. Stop.
  2. Take one slow breath.
  3. Ask, “What could happen next?”
  4. Choose the safest or most respectful response.

Practice this routine during calm moments using situations s/he commonly encounters. Skills rehearsed in advance are more likely to be available when emotions are high.

  1. Respond to Dishonesty Without Labeling

Avoid calling your child a “liar.” Instead, address the specific statement and give him an opportunity to correct it: “That explanation does not match the information I have. Take a minute to think, and then tell me what happened from the beginning.”

Praise honesty while still addressing the original behavior: “I appreciate that you told me the truth. We still need to repair what happened, but honesty helps us solve the problem.”

  1. Teach Social Skills Directly

Do not assume your child automatically understands facial expressions, conversational timing, personal space, or how his behavior affects others. When watching TV, pause the screen or when at the mall, sit and people watch. Use these opportunities to review social situations together and ask:

  • What did you notice about the other person?
  • How do you think that person felt?
  • What clue might you have missed?
  • What could you try differently next time?

Role-play how to join a conversation, accept “no,” handle teasing, apologize sincerely, and notice when someone wants to stop. This sounds easy but takes a lot of practice for your child to internalize but don’t give up. You are teaching valuable social skills.

  1. Schedule Positive Time Together

You deeply love your child so make sure your relationship is not centered entirely on correction. Set aside regular time for an activity your child enjoys without lecturing or discussing school problems. A strong parent-child connection makes children more receptive to guidance and provides emotional protection when they are struggling socially. Hire the tutor, coach, or counselor to help teach your child so you can maintain the positiveness needed so you are not constantly butting-heads.

  1. Coordinate With the School

Most private and public schools make accommodations to support children with disabilities. Our paperwork gives you the documentation needed to help the school create a 504 accommodation plan or an Individual Education Program (IEP). This support gives educators understanding of your child’s struggles from a qualified professional and not simply from a concerned parent. Furthermore, we can Zoom or Teams into the school-based accommodation meeting to support you (extra fee required for this service). We can also guide you to educational advocates or attorneys as needed.

Reach out today so we can create a team to help determine why your child continually has behavior problems and help support you, and your child. We look forward to speaking with you. (561) 625 4125

autism boy

Social Struggles Can Point to Autism

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A mom contacted me because she was concerned about her adolescent son and wrote, “I wish he could understand social issues so he could respond appropriately. Sometimes I think people take advantage of him.” She wanted to know if his social issues could be related to autism or something else.

Autism is a Social Disorder

It’s understandable for you to wonder about autism when you see your child struggling with social understanding. This mom recognized this was one sign and that further exploration might be helpful. Social difficulties can come from many different causes such as autism, ADHD, social anxiety disorder, language delays, or personality traits such as being an introvert. Thus, social difficulty does not automatically point to autism, but it can be one piece of the puzzle.

Evaluating for Autism and Other Social Concerns

You may want to consider an evaluation if three or more autism-related traits are present, such as difficulty reading body language, voice tone, or unspoken rules, very literal thinking, challenges with back-and-forth conversation, trouble making or keeping friends, sensory sensitivities, rigid routines, a strong discomfort with changes, or unusual social communication skills.

If the concern about social vulnerability is part of a larger pattern, an assessment may be appropriate. Our evaluations help provide you with answers and clarity. Testing helps answer questions such as: “What exactly is he struggling with? How can we support him best?  Are there services or strategies that could make life easier for him?”  Parents often find relief in having clear guidance, whether or not an autism diagnosis is given.

Wonder About Autism?

Contact us if you wonder about autism and feel your child is consistently misunderstood socially, easily manipulated or taken advantage of, unsure how to set boundaries, or confused by peers’ behavior.  Our school neuropsychological testing will help give answers and guide you toward meaningful next steps.

Call (561) 625 4125 if you would like to discuss your child and your concerns for possible autism, social difficulty, learning disabilities, dyslexia, ADHD, or anxiety.

What Parents Need to Know About the President’s New Autism Announcement

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What Parents Need to Know About the President’s New Autism Announcement

President Trump recently gave a major speech on autism, and many parents are wondering what it really means for their families. Government announcements often come wrapped in technical language, so here’s a clear breakdown of the key points and what parents should take away.

A New Treatment Option for Some Children

One of the biggest announcements from the speech on autism was a new pathway for using leucovorin, a medication that may help certain children with autism who also have a condition called cerebral folate deficiency (CFD).

CFD happens when a child’s brain doesn’t get enough folate, an important B vitamin, even though blood levels of folate look normal. Some studies show that when children with autism and CFD are treated with leucovorin, parents and therapists see improvements in speech, social skills, and learning.

The FDA will now recognize leucovorin as an approved option in these cases, and Medicaid will cover the treatment for eligible children. This is not a treatment for all children with autism, but for a specific group that doctors can test for using a blood test.

Pregnancy, Acetaminophen, and Autism Risk

The President also addressed growing concerns about acetaminophen (Tylenol) use during pregnancy. Some research suggests a possible link between frequent acetaminophen use in pregnancy and a higher risk of autism or ADHD in children. However, experts emphasize that the evidence is not conclusive. Other studies have not found the same connection, and scientists do not yet agree that acetaminophen causes autism.

For now, the official advice is that pregnant women can still use acetaminophen when needed, but should:

  • Use the lowest effective dose
  • Take it for the shortest time necessary
  • Only use it when truly needed

It’s important to remember that untreated fever or pain during pregnancy can also be harmful, so this is about balance and careful use. Pregnant parents should talk with their doctor before making any changes to how they manage symptoms.

A Big Investment in Research

Another important piece of news is that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) will be investing over $50 million into new autism research. Thirteen projects will be launched under the new “Autism Data Science Initiative.” These studies will look at possible causes of autism—ranging from genetics and environmental factors to medical conditions—and will work to connect this information with real-life family experiences.

This kind of large-scale research is critical. It may not bring immediate answers, but it helps build the knowledge needed for better tools, therapies, and understanding in the years ahead.

Autism Rates Are Rising

The President also noted that autism diagnoses have been increasing. Current estimates suggest that about 1 in 31 children in the U.S. are diagnosed with autism, up from 1 in 36 just a few years ago. This highlights how important it is for schools, healthcare systems, and communities to keep expanding services and supports. We provide autism testing using the ADOS, one of the gold standard tools for evaluating children.

What This Means for You Today

For most families, these announcements won’t change day-to-day life right away. The new treatment applies only to children with cerebral folate deficiency, and the acetaminophen guidance is simply a reminder to use medications carefully during pregnancy. The most immediate takeaway is that the federal government is paying closer attention to autism and putting significant money into finding answers.

You should continue to use ABA therapy as a primary intervention.  Follow your pediatrician’s advice, ask questions about testing and treatments, and stay informed as new research unfolds. While uncertainty remains, these announcements show that progress is being made toward better understanding autism and supporting children and families.

We use a comprehensive approach to testing your child for autism starting with an in-depth parent interview.  Then we spend 4 hours over a couple of days testing your child using the ADOS and other autism assessments.  We’ll also gain insights from your child’s teacher or therapist.  We do this to make sure we obtain the big picture of what you see, what others see, all the work from your child, and our clinical observations and testing. Check out my book, Parent’s Quick Start Guide to Autism, if your child was recently diagnosed. It gives you a road map of the best evidenced based practices and steps to take to help your child right away.

Call us to schedule autism testing for your child (561) 625 4125.

Autism Testing Palm Beach

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The rates of autism have increased in recent years and we offer autism testing in Palm Beach and Jupiter for ages 2 through 25.  The autism numbers continue to increase due to better awareness and a broader diagnostic criteria. According to the latest estimates from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the United States:

  • 1 in 36 children are identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in 2023.
  • Autism is about 4 times more common in boys than in girls, though girls tend to be diagnosed later and often present with different symptoms.

Prevalence rates vary by country, but overall, research shows that the rate of autism diagnoses has been increasing worldwide. The way autism is diagnosed and identified has evolved over time, which contributes to this increase in reported cases.  Factors that influence the prevalence of autism include:

  • Increased awareness and recognition of autism by parents, teachers, and healthcare professionals.
  • Expanded diagnostic criteria that allow for a broader range of behaviors to be classified under the autism spectrum.
  • Better access to diagnostic services.

Why is Autism Testing Important?

Autism testing is important for several reasons, as it helps with early identification, support, and understanding.

  1. Early Diagnosis: The earlier autism is identified, the sooner appropriate interventions can begin. Early interventions, such as applied behavioral therapies, can significantly improve developmental outcomes, social skills, and communication abilities in children.
  2. Understanding Individual Needs: Autism is a spectrum, meaning it manifests differently in each person. Testing helps to understand an individual’s unique strengths and challenges, enabling tailored support and strategies that best suit their needs.
  3. Access to Resources and Services: A formal diagnosis can open doors to specialized resources, therapies, and educational services that may not be available without it. These services can play a crucial role in promoting a person’s development and well-being.
  4. Reducing Misunderstandings: Early testing can help reduce misconceptions and social stigma. Understanding autism allows people to be more empathetic, accommodating, and supportive of those with the condition.
  5. Support for Families: For families, knowing that their child has autism can provide clarity, helping them seek out the right support systems. It can also help in managing expectations and understanding the child’s behavior.
  6. Advocacy: With an official diagnosis, individuals and their families can advocate for their needs more effectively, whether in schools, workplaces, or social settings.

Overall, autism testing helps to improve the quality of life for individuals with autism by ensuring they get the right diagnosis, resources, and support at the right time.

Autism Testing Palm Beach

Dr. Jim Forgan and associates provide autism testing for children and young adults. We offer autism testing for ages 2 through 25.  Autism testing for a 2-year-old is quite different from autism testing for a 25 year old.  If you need autism testing, call us to discuss the differences.  However, one similarity is that all autism testing uses the industry’s gold standard assessment called the ADOS which stands for the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (second edition) and measures an individual’s social understanding.  We do not accept insurance but we do direct billing for Step Up for Students Unique Abilities.  If you don’t already have Step Up, our autism testing can qualify your child for this yearly scholarship from the state of Florida.

Parent’s Quick Start Guide to Autism

Dr. Jim Forgan co-authored the go to book for when you find out your child has autism.  The Parent’s Quick Start Guide to Autism contains research based interventions and treatments that work for children with autism.  Time is too valuable to waste so you want to provide the treatments which will make the most improvement in the shortest amount of time.

We look forward to hearing from you so call us at (561) 625 4125.