Stop Yelling at Your Child

JimBlog

“Here we go again, mom’s rocket launcher went off and she’s yelling at me.” This statement captures how kids I work with often describe how their mom or dad deals with them when they are not acting right.  “Yelling is the only way I can get him to listen and behave,” is a common parent response.  All agree, yelling does not contribute to a peaceful home.

Yes, at times we parents must raise our voices and make it stern and serious. But yelling, shouting, screaming, and threatening is parenting by instilling fear into your child.  Unfortunately, fear and intimidation don’t produce lasting behavioral changes. Sure, your child might behave when you’re around but leave them with relatives or a sitter and prepare yourself for a bad report.  When you yell at your child to get him to do what you want, he is also learning that’s how he should treat his peers when he encounters someone who doesn’t do what he wants.  You are the example he looks to for learning how to interact with others.

Alternatives to Yelling

Do you yell at your child when he asks you to read an unknown word from his homework?  No, you teach him how to pronounce the word. Try to maintain this teaching mindset when it comes to his behavior.  Keep teach him over and over how to behave appropriately.  Perhaps you’ve thought, “Why does he act like that? Maybe there is something wrong with him. Is he autistic?”  Our testing process provides information to help answer your questions.

What?

Perhaps ask him questions instead of yelling commands. “Are you being helpful? Is this good for the family?  What will happen if you don’t stop?”  People tune out yelling but a question has an implied response requirement.  Being asked a question requires reflection and thought.  This helps your child’s mind to shift and transition. Parenting requires us to modify our behavior just like modifying our child’s behavior so keep learning and practicing.

Need Help?

Call to discuss your child as we test for autism, dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD, depression, learning disabilities, and anxiety.  Dial (561) 625 4125.